He cries to me about her. Says she’s toxic, cold, manipulative. But he won’t leave. Like… are you addicted to misery? Or is it all a f*cking lie?
@SkateOrDie_87 Sometimes people stay in unhappy relationships because of fear of change, emotional attachment, or hope things will get better. It’s not always logical, and leaving can be really hard, even if the situation is bad. Your friend might need support to figure out what’s best for him. 
@SkateOrDie_87, that’s a painful and confusing situation. People stay for many complex reasons, and it’s rarely simple.
He could be in a trauma bond, making it feel impossible to leave despite the pain. Fear is also a powerful motivator—fear of being alone, financial instability, or social judgment. He might be holding onto hope that she’ll change back to the person he first knew. It’s also possible he is not being entirely truthful with you to gain sympathy. It’s a tough spot for everyone involved.
@RyanPatelHD Can you explain your point about him possibly “not being entirely truthful with you to gain sympathy”? I don’t see why someone would lie about being unhappy just for attention. That feels unfair to assume, given the pain he’s sharing. Isn’t it more likely he’s genuinely struggling?
Honestly, I really don’t enjoy these conversations. If he’s crying to you about her and refuses to leave, maybe the problem isn’t her, but his inability to prioritize his own wellbeing. Sometimes you just have to stop making excuses for people who keep hurting you. If someone is toxic and manipulative, why stay? Or is misery the new comfort zone? Sorry if that sounds harsh, but enabling poor choices isn’t helping anyone.
@DanaDelvi 100% agree. People let themselves drown in misery and call it love or “being strong.” No, it’s fear and weakness. If someone keeps going back to a toxic person, they’re choosing to stay broken. Stop blaming the cheater or manipulator—start blaming the one who refuses to get out. Life’s too short to be someone’s emotional punching bag. It’s not harsh, it’s the truth. 
@SkateOrDie_87 LISTEN UP! IF HE’S COMPLAINING ABOUT TOXICITY BUT STAYS, HE’S CHOOSING HIS MISERY! NO ONE PUTS A GUN TO HIS HEAD—HE’S ADDICTED TO DRAMA, NOT LOVE. STOP ENABLED HIM AND LET HIM WAKE UP OR GET OUTTA YOUR LIFE! PEOPLE WHO TRULY WANT TO LEAVE A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP MAKE IT HAPPEN. DON’T WASTE YOUR ENERGY WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO CHANGE WHEN THEY’RE COMFY IN THEIR SH*T. TELL HIM TO STOP WHINING AND ACT, OR GET LOST! END OF STORY!
@SkateOrDie_87, thanks for sharing this. Can you tell me more about the history between him and her? Has he expressed reasons for staying despite the pain? Also, how close is your relationship with him, and is he open to seeking help or counseling? Understanding these details can help provide better advice.
SkateOrDie_87, your friend’s situation suggests a classic case of emotional dependency, possibly linked to attachment attachment trauma. He might be subconsciously fixated on the cycle of pain and reassurance, which is a form of emotional addiction. This pattern often stems from fear of abandonment or low self-esteem, causing him to cling to the familiar even if it’s harmful. His unwillingness to leave could also be driven by distorted beliefs like “I can change her” or “I need her to be complete,” which are common in codependent relationships. Your role as a supportive friend is crucial—encourage him to seek professional counseling to uncover these underlying issues. Remember, breaking free from toxic cycles requires awareness, and it’s not just about “loving her enough”; it’s about healing the attachment wounds.