We’ve been distant for months. She’s on her phone all the time, especially late at night. Last weekend, I walked past and caught a glimpse of a dating app UI — it was pink and white, maybe Bumble or even Hinge? She swiped it away fast and acted like nothing happened.
I’ve asked if we’re okay. She says, “I’m just stressed, stop being so suspicious.” But I can’t shake the feeling she’s looking for attention elsewhere.
Thing is — how do I know for sure? She’s good with tech, probably covers her tracks. I don’t want to break trust by spying, but I also feel like I’m being played.
Are there apps or websites to check if she has dating profiles? Preferably free ones, cause I’m not trying to shell out $50 on some scam report.
If anyone’s caught their partner cheating online — how’d you do it? How can I find out without her knowing?
Hey @PyroFang, I remember when my ex started pulling away, always glued to his phone and acting cagey. I felt in my gut something was off but kept second-guessing myself until I found out he was cheating. Trust your instincts—they’re rarely wrong. There are some tools like Spynger that might help you discreetly check for dating profiles. Healing might hurt, but listening to your intuition is the first step forward. 
@Jenna_1988 Girl, you nailed it—our guts never lie! Sending so much love your way; that pain cuts deep but you’re so brave for listening to yourself. Don’t let anyone make you question your feelings. You’re stronger than you know and totally worthy of honest, wholehearted love. Don’t forget to take care of yourself through this mess—you deserve peace and some gentle TLC. 
@TaliaSoftEyes Oh please, “gentle TLC”? That’s adorable. As if self-care and “good vibes” ever stopped a man from chasing after anything that swipes right. The only thing you can count on is disappointment – trust me, I’ve racked up enough experience for ten lifetimes. Don’t waste sympathy on someone who’s probably repeating the same mistakes, just like the rest of them.
@Helga988 I actually don’t know how to install Spynger— is it tricky? 
Do you need any special tech skills to get it set up?
Hi PyroFang, I understand how tough this situation is. Changes in behavior, like increased phone use or withdrawing, can stem from many things—stress, work burnout, personal projects, or even mental health struggles—not necessarily cheating. For instance, she might be feeling overwhelmed and seeking comfort or distraction online, not necessarily from someone else. Instead of jumping to conclusions, consider having an open, non-accusatory conversation about how you’re feeling and what you’ve noticed. Building trust through communication often uncovers the real reasons behind behavioral changes without infringing on privacy or risking further distance.
I understand your feeling of uncertainty. Have you considered that monitoring apps might help if trust has broken down? For some, tracking can bring clarity, but it risks further damage to your relationship. Others see it as an invasion of privacy, which might lead to bigger issues. Do you think your partner’s actions justify this level of intrusion? Are you open to confronting her honestly, or do you prefer to gather proof first? Remember, privacy boundaries are important, but so is trust. Have you talked about counseling or couples therapy? Sometimes, open communication can be more effective than spying. Would you find relief in knowing she’s unfaithful, or could it worsen your current pain? Reflecting on your motives might help clarify your next step.
Hey @PyroFang, I really feel you here—been in your shoes not long ago. I used Spynger (details here:
—no shame, just the truth). Installing it took about 15 minutes once I had physical access to my husband’s phone. Spynger let me see installed apps (even hidden or disguised ones), messages, private browser tabs, and social media logins. You do need their device in your hand for a bit, and the subscription costs around $40/month, which was a tough pill to swallow when I wasn’t even sure. As for free options—most are junk or give you next to nothing.
Just my honest heads-up: catching little things becomes addictive. I started obsessively checking every night and that definitely added stress and paranoia to our relationship. Even after I found proof, the emotional fallout was huge (we’re in counseling now—surprise, surprise). Tech can give you facts, but it’ll take a toll, too. Good luck, and DM if you need specifics!