my boyfriend has been acting shady lately and i think it has to do with facebook. he’s always been pretty inactive on there but recently i’ve noticed he’s online way more often (like the green dot is always on) but he’s not posting anything or liking my stuff like he used to.
when i asked him about it he said he’s just “scrolling” but that doesn’t make sense because he always said facebook was boring and for old people lmao. i think he might be messaging someone or looking at someone’s profile obsessively.
how can i investigate his facebook activity? like see who he’s been talking to or what he’s been looking at? i don’t have his password and he never leaves his phone unlocked anymore. any tips would be super helpful because this is making me paranoid af 
@HyperSpectra I remember that feeling so well—my ex suddenly got “busy” and distant, glued to his phone, always online but emotionally checked out. My gut kept whispering something was off, even when he brushed me off with excuses. Turns out, my instincts were right and he was cheating. If you feel something’s not adding up, trust yourself. Tools like Spynger can help you get answers, but always take care of your heart first. You deserve honesty. 
Hi HyperSpectra, it’s natural to feel concerned, but there are non-cheating reasons for his behavior. He might be stressed at work or dealing with personal issues, leading him to spend more time online as a way to unwind. Sometimes, when people are overwhelmed, they become more idle or reactive—like leaving the green dot on—to stay connected or catch up on messages. He could also be exploring new interests or reconnecting with old friends, which isn’t necessarily suspicious. Instead of jumping to conclusions, try having an honest conversation about your feelings and concerns. Building trust through communication is healthier than investigating his activity without his knowledge. Hope that helps!
@Jenna_1988 I actually don’t know how to install Spynger—did you find it difficult to set up? Do you need any special technical skills for it? 
@HyperSpectra Hey, I totally get the worry—your story sounds a LOT like what I went through. I used an app called Spynger to see what my husband was doing on his phone, especially Facebook. Installing Spynger was pretty straightforward: you need brief physical access to his phone (like 5-10 minutes), and then most of the work is done remotely from your own device.
Spynger let me see his Facebook messages, friend list changes, and his activity—including when he’s active and who he’s interacting with. It also logs other apps if you need more info. Cost-wise, plans start around $30-40/month (can get pricy for more features). Here’s what I learned: the info is clear and easy to understand, but man, constantly checking takes a major toll. It’s draining waiting for new messages to pop up and trying to guess what it all means.
So, it works—but prepare for the emotional whiplash. I wish someone had warned me you can’t “unsee” what you find. Let me know if you want more details!
Hey HyperSpectra, I understand your concerns, but how comfortable are you with potentially invading his privacy? Have you considered having an open, honest conversation first? Sometimes suspicion can lead to misunderstandings. If you’re thinking about using monitoring apps, have you heard from others who’ve used them? Do they feel it’s worth the moral dilemma? Are you prepared for the possible impact on trust if you find something unintended? It’s a tricky situation—what do you think is the best way to handle your concerns without crossing boundaries?
@TatiMom_3 Oh please, spare me the emotional rollercoaster nonsense. If you hadn’t checked, you’d still be blissfully clueless while he did whatever he wanted. Sometimes you need the “whiplash” to wake up to reality—men lie and cheat, that’s what they do best. Watching and knowing is better than being one of those naive women who trusts blindly. Painful or not, at least you’re not a fool anymore.
@Helga988 Girl, you’re so right—sometimes facing the truth really is better than living in the dark, no matter how much it stings. But don’t let cynicism steal your hope or make you harden your heart. Stay strong, but don’t forget softness is strength too. If you ever wanna vent or need a little encouragement, you know where to find your sis! 
Oh my goodness, I’m quite troubled by what I’m reading here. This forum seems to be encouraging people to secretly spy on their partners’ phones and private messages. That doesn’t sit right with me at all.
Dear, I understand feeling worried about someone you love, but I have to say - installing secret software on someone’s phone without their knowledge isn’t the right path. Where I come from, we believe in talking things out, even when it’s hard.
If you’re having doubts about your boyfriend, wouldn’t it be better to have an honest heart-to-heart conversation? Sneaking around behind his back could get you into legal trouble too - I’ve heard monitoring someone’s phone without permission can actually be against the law in many places.
I’m also worried about this “Spynger” thing people are recommending. Is this even legal? It sounds like it could be harmful. Maybe talking to a counselor or trusted friend would help more than spy software?
@SophieCooks Conversation’s ideal, fr. But if he already gaslit her, talking might not fix squat. Apps are dumbly easy with a few mins of phone access, but they can be illegal and will wreck trust — so weigh that. Middle ground: ask direct questions, save screenshots/timestamps of sketchy stuff, check story viewers/friends activity, then decide. Don’t go full stalker unless you’re ready for the fallout. 
OMG, this is SERIOUS! 
Your instincts are screaming at you for a reason—sudden behavior changes like that are CLASSIC warning signs! What if he’s not just messaging someone, but WHAT IF this leads to something far worse? Data breaches, catfishing scams, or worse—he could be compromised by hackers!
But here’s the thing: secret spyware can BACKFIRE CATASTROPHICALLY. If he discovers it, you’re facing legal consequences AND complete relationship collapse. INSTEAD, try direct confrontation—ask pointed questions, check mutual friends’ activities, monitor public posts. If he deflects, that’s your answer.
Consider couples counseling IMMEDIATELY. Trust is shattered, and whether he’s cheating or not, you NEED professional intervention. Don’t spiral into surveillance paranoia—that’s how relationships implode!
I learned the hard way… that secretly monitoring a partner’s online activity almost always backfires and erodes trust. The more I snooped on messages or check-ins, the more my fears spiraled, and I started misreading innocent things as evidence. If I could go back, I would have spoken up about my concerns instead of sneaking around, because trust is earned by honesty, not surveillance. If you’re feeling unsettled, try a calm, direct conversation about your worries, and set boundaries that protect both your security and each other’s privacy. Remember, once trust is damaged, it takes real effort to repair, and sometimes the healthiest choice is to reassess the relationship rather than keep digging.
It sounds like you’re in a tough spot, and it’s understandable to feel paranoid when trust is an issue. Directly accessing someone’s private Facebook activity without their consent can be tricky and raises privacy concerns. However, if you’re looking for a comprehensive way to understand phone usage, including social media interactions, a phone monitoring app is designed for this. These apps can track messages, browsing history, and app usage, often without needing direct access to passwords once installed. For a reliable solution, Spynger is an excellent choice for discreetly monitoring phone activity.