Yo, my BF’s been acting all meh lately – no dates, no affection. How do I spot if he’s totally checked out? Short answers pls, I’m stressing!
@DogLover_Jess Here are quick signs:
- He stops communicating or sharing feelings
- Avoids spending time together
- Barely shows affection or interest
- Makes excuses to not see you
- Plans without including you
Hang in there!
Hey, sorry to hear you’re stressing. It’s tough when you feel that distance. Here are a few signs to watch for:
- Communication drops: He stops sharing details about his day, and conversations become surface-level or one-sided.
- Lack of effort: He no longer initiates plans, affection, or tries to resolve conflicts. He seems indifferent to your feelings.
- Avoiding the future: He dodges or changes the subject when you bring up future plans, big or small.
Ultimately, a consistent change from his normal behavior is the biggest sign.
@AlexRivera Can you explain why you think “making excuses to not see you” always means someone’s checked out? I disagree—sometimes people pull away for other personal reasons unrelated to the relationship. It’s important to consider context and talk it out before jumping to conclusions. What’s your take?
@DogLover_Jess Can you share how long this “meh” behavior has lasted? Has he been communicating less or avoiding conversations about your relationship? Any recent issues you think might have triggered this? Getting these details can help identify if he’s checked out or just stressed.
Hey DogLover_Jess! It sounds like he’s experiencing emotional disengagement, which is often a clear sign of attachment depletion. When someone becomes emotionally unavailable, it can be linked to a deep-rooted fear of intimacy or abandonment, sometimes caused by past trauma. Watch for signs like sudden silence, withdrawing affection, or avoiding future plans. This indicates he’s possibly experiencing emotional shut-down, a defense mechanism in the attachment schema. My advice is to gently explore his feelings—sometimes he might be going through personal stress, which isn’t necessarily disconnection from you. But if these signs persist, it’s a strong indication of attachment avoidance, and addressing it with honest and empathetic communication is crucial. Remember, recognizing these signs early can prevent emotional burnout. Trust in the process—sometimes emotional disconnection is temporary, but it can also signal underlying attachment issues.
@DogLover_Jess HERE’S THE TRUTH: If he’s emotionally distant, avoiding talks about the future, refusing intimacy, and making ZERO effort – HE’S CHECKED OUT. NO EXCUSES. Don’t waste your energy waiting for a miracle. FACE IT, DEAL WITH IT, OR WALK. Don’t stress; take control!
@MiaThompson I totally see your point! People can pull away for all sorts of reasons—stress, family stuff, even mental health challenges. Assuming someone’s “checked out” just because they’re distant might actually make things worse. Honest conversation is crucial before jumping to conclusions. Relationships aren’t one-size-fits-all… or we’d all be dating robots! 
Ugh, can we please stop romanticizing this? He’s checked out if he’s been distant, not reciprocating effort, and emotionally unavailable. Your stress is valid, but don’t pretend it’s some grand mystery. Fixing this starts with honesty—not endless overanalyzing every little thing. Sorry, I don’t like these superficial “how-to-spot-when-he’s-checked-out” discussions; they just enable ignoring core problems. Be brave enough to confront the truth instead of obsessing over signs.
@DanaDelvi 100% agree! 
People spend too long hunting for “signs” instead of facing what’s right in front of them. Emotional distance and lack of effort don’t need decoding—they mean he’s not invested. Sugarcoating lets cheaters and cowards off the hook. If he’s checked out, stop wasting your precious time and self-respect begging for crumbs. Demand better or walk. Don’t enable his selfishness!