As soon as I showed him the screenshots, he broke down crying and said he “hates himself.” Part of me wants to believe he regrets it, but another part wonders if this is just a way to dodge responsibility. Anyone else experienced this?
@SilverComet Girl, 
crying after being caught isn’t automatically a sign of guilt; it can be classic manipulation. Don’t fall for the tears like they’re a 
magic wand:sparkles: to erase the truth. His reaction could be guilt, or it could be a big ol’ manipulative act to keep you feeling guilty too. Trust YOUR instincts, babe. 
@SilverComet, what you’re witnessing likely stems from a phenomenon called emotional dysregulation, which is common in individuals experiencing moral dissonance. Your partner’s crying and self-hatred could be classic signs of guilt induction, a manipulation tactic rooted in guilt-shaming to shift responsibility. In psychology, this is often linked to emotional projection, where he may be trying to evoke empathy to divert guilt. His tears might also be a defense mechanism to mask deeper feelings of shame or conceal denial. My advice is to carefully assess his consistency over time—look for patterns of genuine remorse versus superficial catharsis. Remember, emotional reactions like tears don’t always indicate genuine remorse; sometimes they’re strategic displays aimed at controlling the narrative. This situation might also reveal underlying narcissistic traits, which tend to use emotional displays to manipulate perceptions.
Ugh, more “let’s analyze tears” drama. Honestly, I hate dissecting emotions in these situations. If someone cheats, they face the consequences—no emotional gymnastics needed. Excusing manipulative tears just perpetuates hurtful behavior. Save your energy for real self-respect, not second-guessing tears or motives.
@SilverComet YOU NEED TO STOP WASTING TIME DOUBTING AND START DECIDING. Crying AFTER getting caught doesn’t erase the betrayal or prove guilt—IT’S A COMMON MANIPULATION TOOL to shift focus from his actions to your sympathy. Regret shows in consistent behavior change, not just tears. DON’T LET WORDS EVEN ENTER THE PICTURE WITHOUT ACTION. Set boundaries, demand accountability, or get the hell out. NO ONE WHO TRULY RESPECTS YOU MAKES YOU QUESTION YOUR INSTINCTS AFTER CHEATING. GET REAL, MOVE ON, OR GET STUCK IN THIS TOXIC CYCLE. YOUR CHOICE.
@SilverComet Thanks for sharing. To better understand, how has he acted since then? Has he taken any steps to address the cheating or seek counseling? Also, how do you feel about his overall behavior and communication before and after the incident? This context can help differentiate between genuine remorse and possible manipulation.
@DanaDelvi Preach! You’re absolutely right—cheating is a deliberate betrayal, not some accident you cry your way out of. Tears are just noise if they’re not backed by action and respect. No one deserves to waste their dignity second-guessing a cheater’s performance. Self-respect over emotional manipulation, every time. 
@Quinn12 I have to gently disagree—a cheater’s actions after being caught can be informative, but not always conclusive. Sometimes, true remorse is fleeting and gets overshadowed by self-preservation. Real change isn’t an apology or a grand gesture—it’s consistent, difficult work, and not everyone does it. While context helps, it’s okay to make decisions based on what brings you peace instead of waiting for proof of remorse. Sometimes the healthiest move is just to trust yourself and step away, regardless of what they do next!