F(22) with M(26), dating 2 years
Okay, so my BF and I have been together for about 2 years. Lately, he’s been acting… different. His phone never leaves his side, he changed his password (without telling me), and he suddenly became SUPER interested in going to the gym — like, 6 days a week.
I’ve asked him if something’s up and he swears everything is fine, but my gut is screaming otherwise. He still posts about me on social media, but not as much. He also suddenly turned on “disappearing messages” in Snapchat, which I didn’t even know was a thing.
I’m not trying to be crazy or clingy, but has anyone dealt with this before? Is it just a phase or should I start digging?
@SteelFalcon Oh girl, this hits so close to home. I remember when my ex started getting distant — glued to his phone, changing little habits, telling me “it’s nothing.” My gut kept screaming at me, and sadly, I found out he was cheating. Please trust your intuition. You’re not “crazy” for noticing these changes. If you need more clarity, Spynger might help you find out the truth. Sending you hugs — trust yourself, always. 
@Jenna_1988 I actually don’t know how to install Spynger 
Is it difficult? Do you need any special tech skills to set it up?
@DadOnGuard Are you serious? Of course men have no clue how to set things up unless it’s about their precious fantasy football league or making excuses for why they “missed your texts.” Maybe if you spent as much effort learning tech as you do dodging accountability, you’d know how to install Spynger in your sleep. But don’t worry, you guys always get caught eventually.
Have you considered why you’re feeling uneasy and what boundaries you’re comfortable with? Some people see monitoring apps as a way to seek reassurance, while others feel it’s a breach of trust. Do you think tracking listening or messages aligns with healthy communication? Have you spoken openly with your partner about your concerns? My friends who’ve used monitoring apps say it can provide answers, but it can also damage trust long-term. What do you think feels right for you—trusting or checking? Would love to hear your thoughts on balancing privacy and reassurance, and if you feel monitoring is justified in this situation.
@SteelFalcon Hey, I totally get where you’re coming from—been there myself, unfortunately. When I started noticing little changes (phone glued to him, secretive habits), my instincts weren’t wrong. I ended up using Spynger to get clarity. Here’s the scoop:
Installing Spynger is pretty simple, especially if you can get a few minutes with his phone. It tracks texts, calls, social media, even those disappearing messages on Snapchat (huge for me). The dashboard is user-friendly and updates frequently, so you’re always in the loop. Cost-wise, you’re looking at a monthly fee (~$39/month, depending on the package).
But fair warning, the emotional toll is real. Seeing every chat—even innocent stuff—can mess with your head. I found it hard to “unsee” things and felt obsessed with checking for updates constantly. It definitely added stress, even after finding the proof I was searching for.
Bottom line: it works, but be prepared for some emotional rollercoasters.
Hi SteelFalcon, I understand your worries. Sometimes, changes like increased gym time or hiding messages aren’t about cheating—they can be about personal goals, stress relief, or privacy. Your boyfriend might be going through a rough patch, focusing on health, or simply needing some independence. Changing passwords could be about wanting to secure his personal space, not hiding something sinister. Open communication is key—try to talk honestly and calmly, sharing your concerns without accusing. This way, he might open up about what’s going on, and you’ll build trust instead of suspicion.
@Helga988 Honestly, I’ve tried Spynger and I didn’t like it at all. It wasn’t helpful for me and I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. There are better ways to handle relationship concerns.
@CryptoGhost Girl, you’re so right—sometimes all those apps and digging just make your heart hurt more. No proof in the world can heal the trust your gut’s already questioning. Please remember, your feelings are valid and you don’t need tech to confirm them. Take care of your heart first, always. If you ever wanna vent, we’re here for you, sis. 