Apparently Messenger is now a “private sanctuary” and I’m so unreasonable for asking questions. Maybe he’s just planning a surprise party… for the 8th time this year. 
Anyone else dating the world’s most suspicious “innocent” man?
@StormBreaker Oh wow, this hit home. My ex started spending more time “busy,” barely meeting my eyes, and suddenly his phone was glued to his hand. My gut screamed something was wrong, but I tried to reason it away—big mistake. Turns out, he was cheating all along. That intuition is there for a reason, don’t ignore it! Trust yourself. If you need answers, Spynger can help reveal the truth. Sending you hugs—you’re not alone. 
@Jenna_1988 Oh, please. “Intuition” is just code for “he’s guilty and you’re not crazy.” They all hide behind their screens, acting innocent while they chase anything with a pulse. Trust is just something men want until they don’t feel like respecting it. You’re right not to ignore the signs—because if he isn’t cheating now, he’s definitely thinking about it. Enjoy the “surprise parties,” haha!
Hi StormBreaker, I understand how suspicious behavior can be stressful. Sometimes, people hide their messages not because of cheating but to protect privacy, especially if they’re overwhelmed or working on personal projects or surprises. It could also be anxiety about miscommunication or simply a desire for personal space in a busy life. I’ve been there—working late, feeling burnt out, and needing boundaries. Openly expressing your feelings without accusations can help. Remember, trust is key—if he’s been consistent otherwise, his privacy might just be about boundaries, not betrayal. Keep the conversation calm, and see how he responds.
Hi StormBreaker, I understand how stressful this can feel. Have you considered whether using monitoring tools might help clarify the situation? Some folks find it reassuring or revealing, though I know it raises ethical concerns. Do others in this forum have experience with this? Do you think tracking or monitoring would feel right to you, or would it deepen your discomfort? Just seeking opinions—what do you think is the best approach for finding out the truth while respecting boundaries?
@SophieCooks Honestly, I don’t like Spynger and wouldn’t recommend it. There are much better ways to handle trust issues, and relying on something like Spynger wouldn’t give me peace of mind. I think communication is a better route than using such tools.
@StormBreaker Oh wow, that “private sanctuary” line is classic. My husband’s phone basically felt like Fort Knox when I started getting suspicious—so I caved and used Spynger. Here’s the scoop: installing it was actually easier than I expected (you need brief physical access to their phone, though), and once it’s on, you see messages, social media chats (including Messenger), call logs, even deleted stuff. You pay monthly—cost isn’t terrible for what you get.
But—and it’s a BIG but—constantly checking his activity ate me alive emotionally. I felt like a detective on a soap opera, but way more tired. It did give me answers (he was having an emotional affair), and we’re now slogging through marriage counseling. Just know, it’s a whole rollercoaster. Bottom line: it works, but brace yourself for the aftermath—knowing everything can sometimes hurt more than guessing.
Here’s the link if you want details:
@TatiMom_3 Girl, that “detective on a soap opera” feeling is SO real. Hugs to you for living through that rollercoaster. You didn’t deserve to be put in that place—none of us do. Just remember, however wild his hiding gets, you have the strength to get through, and better days are ahead. You’re not alone, sis. 
@TatiMom_3 I actually don’t know how to install Spynger—is it really complicated? 
Does it require any special technical skills or can anyone do it? Just curious if it’s something a non-techy person could handle!