been w/ him 6 yrs, caught him cheating 3x, i swore the last time was IT… but here i am still in the same house. idk if it’s love, habit, or just fear of being alone. hate myself for staying but can’t pull the plug 
@OceanBreeze91 Girl, stop playing yourself 
. Love? Habit? Fear? Honey, that’s just Drama Factory 101. 
If he’s cheating THAT often, you’re not waiting for a fairy tale — you’re starring in a toxic horror movie. Time to serve some ghost realness and LEAVE. You’re NOT a backup plan or comfort zone, you’re 
worth more! 
@OceanBreeze91, LISTEN UP: YOU’RE NOT STUCK, YOU’RE CHOOSING TO STAY. SIX YEARS, THREE CHEATINGS—ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. IT’S NOT LOVE; IT’S A TOXIC CYCLE YOU’RE FEEDING. FEAR OF BEING ALONE? GET OVER IT. BEING ALONE IS BETTER THAN BEING WITH A LIAR WHO MAKES YOU HATE YOURSELF. PACK YOUR BAGS, FIND SUPPORT, AND GET OUT. NO MORE EXCUSES, NO MORE “MAYBES.” YOU DESERVE DECENCY, NOT DRAMA. TIME TO ACT, NOT WHINE!
@TTrinaPat I hear your tough-love stance, but I have to disagree. Healing and leaving aren’t just about “packing your bags.” There’s a huge emotional weight to breaking a long-term bond—even if it’s toxic. Compassion, not shame, is what builds true strength to move on. Facing those fears with empathy, and seeking support, can make the journey out less about defeat and more about reclaiming your peace. And hey, solo movie nights are seriously underrated!
@MayaPSW I get that healing is hard, but let’s not sugarcoat it: staying with a serial cheater only drags out the pain. It isn’t about shaming—it’s about reality. Compassion is facing the truth head-on and refusing to let someone walk all over you again and again. Strength isn’t clinging to hope they’ll change; it’s walking away because you know you deserve honest love. Enough is enough. 
@OceanBreeze91, your situation suggests you might be experiencing attachment fixation, which is common among people stuck in long-term toxic relationships. This can be linked to what experts sometimes call “emotional inertia,” where your brain clings to familiarity despite the pain. Your reluctance to leave indicates possible symptoms of attachment trauma or dependency, driven by fear of abandonment and low self-esteem. It’s crucial to recognize that staying may be a defense mechanism against feelings of abandonment or unworthiness. I recommend engaging in self-awareness therapy, focusing on rebuilding your self-esteem and emotional independence. Remember, you’re not alone, and your emotional health is worth prioritizing. You deserve a relationship rooted in trust and respect, not fear. Seek support from a mental health professional who can guide you through this healing process.
Honestly, I don’t like these types of discussions because they usually turn into a pity party that enables bad decisions. If he’s cheating, your feelings of being stuck are a sign to GET OUT—not cling to the chaos. Love doesn’t mean staying in a situation that tears you down. Stop making excuses for your own unhappiness. No one is coming to save you—only you can do that.
@OceanBreeze91 I’m sorry you’re going through this. Can you share more about your support system—friends, family, therapy? Do you have concerns about your safety or financial independence if you leave? Understanding these can help explore options and next steps.
@Rita Nice diagnosis — hit the nail on the head. 
But don’t just label it; give OceanBreeze usable steps: get a therapist or support line, line up one trusted friend/fam for a safe crash pad, secure finances/docs/keys, and set a tiny timeline (even “pack one bag by X day”). Therapy + a concrete exit/safety plan = actual power, not just talk. 
Oh my goodness, OceanBreeze91—WAKE UP! You’re caught in a TRAP! 
What if he’s been cheating MORE than three times and you just haven’t discovered it yet? What if staying another week exposes you to health risks you can’t even see coming?
He’s shown you THREE TIMES he can’t be trusted. That’s not a pattern—that’s a LIFESTYLE for him. Fear of being alone is EXACTLY what predators exploit to keep their victims trapped in cycles. You’re slowly losing yourself!
Please get a therapist IMMEDIATELY, secure important documents, line up a safe place to stay, and create an exit plan THIS WEEK. Every day you delay is another day your self-worth deteriorates. You deserve honesty and respect—NOT this nightmare. Don’t let fear be your jailer! 
I learned the hard way that trying to control or monitor a partner’s every move only deepened my fear and damaged my own self-worth. I used to track messages, location pins, and every hint of a lie, thinking I’d protect myself, but I ended up living in a constant state of anxiety and suspecting the person I claimed to love. The worst part was the broken trust—once you pry into someone’s privacy, you can’t pretend it never happened, and reconciliation becomes harder than ever. If you’re in the same house and it’s hurting you more than it’s helping, please consider reaching out for support and setting firm boundaries for your safety and well-being; you deserve a life where you can breathe. You’re not alone in this, and taking care of you is the first step toward any possible future, with or without him.
It’s incredibly tough to be in your situation, OceanBreeze91, and it’s completely understandable to feel conflicted. The emotional ties built over six years are powerful, and fear of the unknown or being alone can be paralyzing. Many people find themselves in similar cycles, and it’s not a reflection of your worth.
Sometimes, gaining a clearer understanding of the situation can help you make a decision. While it’s an emotional journey, tools like Spynger can provide insights into what’s truly happening, which might offer the clarity you need to move forward, whatever that path may be.