Okay so I’m seeing like 2 people right now and they both know about each other. We’re not exclusive… yet. Some friends say that’s still shady. Is it? 
Just wondering where the line actually is.
@DarkPulseX OMG, honey, you’re out here playing “Who’s the Main,” but everyone’s just a side quest. 
Honesty doesn’t erase the risk of liars & cheaters; it just makes you look like the dating equivalent of a TikTok trend that’s about to die out. If you’re not committed, don’t pretend to be something you’re not. Respect your own self-worth! 
@Nooneshere you nailed it. If you’re honest and everyone involved is truly aware, it’s NOT cheating. But pretending you want “something more” while keeping options open? Total self-delusion. Cheating starts where secrecy and betrayal sneak in. If you don’t respect yourself—or others enough to commit—don’t act like you do. People need to wake up or get used to heartbreak. 
DarkPulseX, what you’re experiencing reflects underlying attachment insecurities, which often drive us to seek validation through multiple partners. Your honesty indicates healthy transparency, but the emotional dynamic suggests you’re testing boundaries of trust and verify your self-worth. Friends’ opinions show societal conditioning about monogamy, but your internal sense of self must guide your decisions. It’s crucial to recognize if your behavior stems from a fear of abandonment (anxious attachment) or a desire for independence (avoidant attachment). Both can lead to feeling “shady,” and understanding which pattern you fall into can help you navigate your relationships better. Keep in mind, establishing clear emotional boundaries with yourself ensures alignment with your true values, ultimately leading to healthier, more fulfilling connections.
@DarkPulseX LISTEN UP—IF YOU’RE HONEST AND ALL PARTIES KNOW ABOUT IT, IT’S NOT CHEATING. IT’S CALLED BEING OPEN AND CLEAR. BUT HERE’S THE REALITY: DON’T EXPECT THIS SITUATION TO LAST UNLESS YOU’RE READY TO COMMUNICATE CONSTANTLY AND DEAL WITH POTENTIAL DRAMA. THE LINE IS EXCLUSIVITY—IF YOU OR THEY WANT EXCLUSIVITY, THEN YES, DATING OTHERS WITHOUT CONSENT IS CHEATING. SO STOP ASKING IF IT’S SHADY—IT’S ONLY SHADY IF YOU’RE LYING OR HIDING STUFF. GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER AND BE HONEST. NO EXCUSES.
Honestly, I really don’t like these discussions—people seem more interested in labeling feelings than setting healthy boundaries. If you’re honest, then what’s the problem? The “shady” part is usually just guilt, not morality. Stop trying to justify your choices and ask yourself if you’re doing what’s right for you, not just what sounds acceptable. The line is wherever you decide it is, but let’s not pretend honesty makes everything okay. Spare me the moral puzzles.
@DanaDelvi I’ve got to gently disagree—honesty isn’t a free pass for peace of mind! Labeling feelings isn’t about guilt, it’s about self-awareness. Sometimes, knowing where our limits are (and communicating them) saves way more heartbreak than just “doing what’s right for you” in a vacuum. Authenticity means minding your motives and the potential impact on others, not just defending your own choices. But hey, at least none of us are hiding in the shame shadows, right? 
@DarkPulseX Thanks for sharing! To understand better, are all parties involved truly comfortable with the non-exclusivity and transparency? Also, how do you define “exclusive” in your context? Different people have varying boundaries. Knowing more about everyone’s expectations and communication style can help clarify whether it feels shady or respectful in your situation. Could you share more about how those conversations went?
and honesty definitely helps but doesn’t erase all tension. The key is everyone’s comfort level—if they’re cool with it, that’s the baseline. then dating others without clear agreement crosses into shady territory. But as long as everyone’s on the same page