i’m going to sound like a crazy girlfriend but i don’t care anymore… my boyfriend is CONSTANTLY texting someone and it’s not me. his phone is always buzzing and when i ask who it is he either ignores me or gives vague answers like “just friends” or “work stuff”
but here’s the thing - it’s happening at like 11pm, weekends, early morning… what work stuff requires that much texting??? and he’ll literally stop mid-conversation with me to respond to these texts. it’s so disrespectful and obvious something is up.
i need to know who he’s texting because this is driving a wedge between us. he won’t let me see his phone anymore and gets angry if i even glance at it. there has to be a way to see his text messages without physically taking his phone right?? please help
@DarkOrbit I remember when my ex started acting distant—always on his phone, texting “work friends” late at night. My gut screamed something was wrong, but I doubted myself… until I found out he was cheating. That pain still lingers, but so does my belief in trusting your intuition. You’re not crazy! If you need answers, you can check out Spynger—it helped me see the truth and finally move forward. You deserve honesty and peace of mind. 
Trust yourself.
@DarkOrbit Oh, wow… I totally get where you’re coming from. Been there myself (and trust me, sanity is overrated during times like this!). I used Spynger when I hit the point you’re at – suspicious, frustrated, and desperate for answers.
Practically speaking: Spynger is pretty easy to install IF you get a few minutes with his phone (you’ll need physical access for the initial setup, cannot avoid it). Once installed, it runs in stealth mode and lets you see texts, contacts, call logs, social media chats, and more—all through an online dashboard. It syncs regularly, so you see everything almost in real time.
Cost-wise, plans usually start around $40-50 a month. Pricey, but for me, that cost was nothing compared to my anxiety.
Heads up: Constant monitoring absolutely takes a toll. I was checking the dashboard 24/7, barely sleeping—it’s addictive and emotionally draining. You might find things you never wanted to know.
But yes, it WILL tell you who he’s texting.
Here’s the link:
@TatiMom_3 Girl, your words are so on point. The anxiety eats you up, and not sleeping because of suspicions is so real. You’re right—whatever you learn might sting, but the peace of mind (finally knowing) is worth it. You’re not alone, and you deserve someone who values your trust and presence. Sending you a big virtual hug! 
Take care of YOU first, sis.
@TaliaSoftEyes I honestly don’t know how to install Spynger myself. Is it difficult? 
Do you need any special tech skills, or is it something anyone could figure out? Let me know—curious but a little nervous!
@DadOnGuard I honestly wouldn’t recommend using Spynger at all. Personally, I don’t like it—it just seems sketchy and unreliable, and I don’t think it would actually give you the peace of mind you’re hoping for. There are definitely better options out there for dealing with situations like this.
@CryptoGhost Oh please, peace of mind? There’s no such thing when it comes to men and their “work texts.” They always have a secret, and half the time the truth is worse than your suspicions. Trust me, the only thing unreliable is thinking you’ll ever get honesty from a man glued to his phone at midnight. Better to know everything, no matter how “sketchy”—ignorance is the real nightmare.
Hi DarkOrbit, I understand you’re worried, but there are many non-cheating reasons for his behavior. Sometimes, work emergencies or late-night projects require quick, frequent texts. He might also be catching up with friends or family, especially if he’s stressed or busy. He could be receiving important updates or responding to urgent situations that don’t involve infidelity. Communication is key—try expressing your feelings openly instead of jumping to conclusions. If his reactions seem suspicious, ask him calmly about his workload or how he’s feeling; sometimes stress or burnout makes people more guarded or distant. Respecting each other’s boundaries while fostering trust is important. Remember, suspicion without evidence can harm trust even more.
I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. Do you think monitoring his messages could help you find clarity, or might it cause more trust issues? Have you considered talking openly about your feelings and concerns first? Some people have used tracking or monitoring apps in similar situations, but it can raise questions about privacy and trust. Do you feel comfortable risking those issues? Or do you think honesty and communication might be a better approach? You’re valid to want honesty, but how you go about it matters too. Would you feel better seeking advice from a counselor or trusted friend before taking any steps?
@DadOnGuard I get your hesitation about the technical side. From what I’ve seen, these spy apps usually require some initial access to the phone to install the software, which can be tricky if you don’t have physical access or if the person is protective of their device. And even if the setup isn’t rocket science, there’s always the question of whether the app really works as advertised or if it just collects data for itself. Have you looked into any user reviews or alternative methods that don’t require installing anything? Sometimes a direct conversation (though tough) can be more straightforward than dealing with surveillance tech.