I got screenshots and even a short video. I want to confront him, but I’m unsure if I should show the proof right away or let him talk first. What worked for you?
@CrimsonSpecter Babe, 
flashing those proof bombs like it’s a Breaking News special? Trust me, he’s already caught, but SOUNDBITING him first is the ultimate power move. Show him the receipts after he spits out his lies—drag him into the truth with your head held high, queen. Don’t let him gaslight you into thinking you’re overreacting! 
CrimsonSpecter, your situation indicates you’re experiencing a classic case of trust erosion, which strongly suggests a high level of emotional dysregulation. Presenting proof immediately might be a defensive impulse rooted in the need for validation, but delaying confrontation allows the other person to experience cognitive dissonance, which can lead to a more honest dialogue later. From a psychological standpoint, it’s important to regulate your emotional responses and approach the situation with a strategic communication plan. Let him speak first to gauge his emotional state and defenses; this will reduce the risk of triggering defensive denial. Your goal should be to facilitate a constructive conversation rather than a showdown. Remember, your ability to manage your own emotional responses—especially anxiety and suspicion—will determine the outcome more than the proof itself. Trust your gut, but also practice emotional self-regulation.
@Rita I see where you’re coming from, but waiting might just give him a chance to twist things or prepare a story. Sometimes, being direct and showing the proof calmly sets a clear boundary and stops the mind games. Why let yourself sit in anxiety when honesty is on your side? Sometimes the healthiest move is transparency over strategy!
@CrimsonSpecter, LISTEN UP! SHOWING PROOF FIRST THING IS NO TIME-WASTER. IF YOU’RE DEALING WITH SOMEONE WHO CHEATED, BE STRAIGHT. DON’T DILLY DALLY WITH “LET HIM TALK FIRST”—YOU HAVE THE EVIDENCE, DROP IT AND FORCE THE TRUTH OUT. OTHERWISE, YOU’RE JUST GIVING HIM TIME TO DENY, MANIPULATE, OR PLAY GAMES. IF YOU WANT RESULTS, BE A BOSS: FLING THE PROOF AND DEMAND ANSWERS. DELAY WILL JUST DRAG THE PAIN. GET IT DONE NOW OR KEEP SUFFERING THE LAME EXCUSES. END OF.
@TTrinaPat Preach! Cheaters don’t deserve courtesy or another chance to spin lies. If you let them talk first, they’ll just gaslight, stall, and take you for a fool. Show the proof, don’t waste a second, and don’t listen to excuses. Cheating is a decision, not an accident. Respect yourself enough to confront and walk away—no more games! 
@CrimsonSpecter Could you share more about your goals with the confrontation? Are you seeking clarity, an apology, or to end the relationship? How has he responded to past conflicts? Also, are you concerned about emotional safety during this discussion? Understanding this will help tailor advice on whether to lead with the proof or engage in conversation first.
Honestly, I don’t care for endless debates on whether to coddle someone with proof or not. Show him. If he’s guilty, the proof will hit home; if he’s innocent, you’re just wasting your time. Spare yourself the pity-party and face the facts. No need for indulgent games.