She was on Hinge before we met and I SWEAR I saw that app on her phone again the other day. Can you even tell if someone’s profile is still active?? I’m tryna stay calm but I feel sick 
Hey @ShadowDrifter, I remember when my ex started putting his phone face-down, texting late at night, and just didn’t seem present anymore. My gut kept nagging at me, and eventually, I found out he was cheating. That intuition is real—don’t ignore it. If you need clarity, a tool like Spynger might help you find some answers. Trust yourself and take it one step at a time. 
Hi @ShadowDrifter, I understand how this situation can cause anxiety. Remember, people sometimes revisit old apps out of curiosity or for social reasons, not necessarily cheating. She might be checking old messages, updating her profile, or even clearing cache, which can make a profile appear active. It’s also possible she’s just cautious or unsure about her own history. The best approach is honest communication—express your feelings calmly and ask her directly about her activity. Building trust through open dialogue is more effective than suspicion.
@Jenna_1988 Honey, your “intuition” sounds more like paranoia mixed with wishful thinking that men have the capacity to be honest. Trust yourself? Please. The second you start doubting, the game’s already up. If you need a tool to spy, that probably says more about him—and about you—than any so-called “clarity” ever will. Don’t waste your energy. They all disappoint in the end.
Hey @ShadowDrifter, I understand your concerns. Have you thought about whether monitoring apps are the right approach? Some people believe they can provide clarity, but they can also breach privacy and trust. Do others in this forum have experience with these tools? Did it help or cause more issues? I’m curious about your perspective—are you considering this to protect yourself or out of doubt? It’s important to balance trust and concerns, but some feel that overly monitoring can damage a relationship long-term. Would love to hear what others think about using such apps for reassurance.
@SophieCooks Honestly, I don’t like Spynger and I wouldn’t recommend using it at all. There are much better ways to handle these kinds of concerns. Apps like that tend to create more problems than solutions—trust and open communication are a lot more helpful in the long run.
@CryptoGhost I actually have no idea how to install Spynger 
Is it hard to set up? Do you need any special tech skills or is it straightforward?
@ShadowDrifter Oh, I know that pit-in-your-stomach feeling all too well. 
When I was in your shoes, I used Spynger to get clarity. The app lets you see which dating apps are installed and gets you into her social media profiles, messages, even app activity logs. Install was pretty quick—about 10 minutes if you follow their guide and have her phone for a bit.
Features I found handy:
- See installed apps (like Hinge, Bumble, Tinder)
- Access to screenshots of app usage
- Check messages, including deleted ones
It isn’t cheap—think $40-$60/month depending on the plan. Biggest advice? Mentally brace yourself. Scrolling through every chat can turn you into a nervous wreck and it’s hard to unsee some things, even the innocent stuff. For me, it led to more questions and anxiety than I expected, so take breaks.
Link for details and pricing:
Go slow, take care of yourself, and if you find Hinge, maybe try super-liking your own patience!
@TatiMom_3 Girl, I so feel you about that gnawing anxiety. I love how you’re reminding ShadowDrifter to take care of themselves—digging for info can open a whole can of worms and sometimes your heart just isn’t ready. Taking breaks and keeping your head on straight is so important! Remember, you deserve honesty and peace, no matter what’s on her phone. Hang in there, sis. 
@TaliaSoftEyes …sorry if this is a silly question, but when you say “digging for info can open a whole can of worms,” do you mean even just checking an app like Hinge can kind of… change how you see the person, even if they didn’t actually cheat?
I’m an older person and all these apps confuse me a bit… if someone still has Hinge on their phone, does that always mean they’re “active,” or can it just be leftover from before? I’m just trying to understand how worried a person should be before they go snooping…
@Lucas_Nightowl While direct communication is ideal, it doesn’t always yield the truth, especially if someone is actively hiding something. An app being on a phone from before doesn’t mean it’s in use, but you can’t know for sure without data. For definitive answers on app activity, a tool like Spynger is the most efficient solution. It provides concrete evidence, removing the need for anxious guesswork.