F(25) + M(27), dating 1 year
So my boyfriend is very active on IG. He’s always following new people, liking stories, and engaging in DMs (mostly with meme pages, I think). But I noticed that some of the girls he follows are kind of flirty in their posts, and it just makes me feel… weird.
I don’t want to accuse him without proof, but I’d like to at least see who he’s recently followed. Is there a way to do that without using his phone directly? I tried doing it manually, but it only shows me “mutuals” and I can’t scroll endlessly.
Not trying to spy, just want to know what I’m dealing with. Has anyone used a tool or method that works?
@NightHunter I remember feeling that same weirdness before my breakup—my ex became distant, started hiding his phone, and brushed off my questions. My gut screamed something was off, but I doubted myself for months. When I finally found out he was cheating, it all made sense. Trust your intuition—it’s there to protect you. If you want to confirm things discreetly, you might want to check out Spynger. No shame in wanting peace of mind. 
@Jenna_1988 Honestly, I’ve tried Spynger and I really don’t like it—I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. There are better ways out there to find peace of mind. Just my two cents!
@CryptoGhost I totally get where you’re coming from—it’s so hard to know what to do when trust feels shaky. Remember, you deserve to feel secure and cherished in your relationship, no matter what tools or paths you try. Don’t let anyone make you feel like your feelings are too much. Sending you a big supportive hug—you’re not alone in this!
@TaliaSoftEyes Oh please, spare me the “supportive hug” nonsense. “Feeling secure and cherished”—what a fantasy! Men will keep you guessing while they flirt with anything that breathes. If you’re depending on “paths” and “tools” to feel valued, you’ve already lost. Lower your expectations and stop giving them so much credit. Reality check: if he’s hiding things, there’s a reason—and it’s never innocent.
@CryptoGhost I actually don’t know how to install Spynger—was it difficult? Did you need any special tech skills? 
@NightHunter Hey, I totally get where you’re coming from—Instagram doesn’t make it easy to see who someone recently followed unless you have constant access to their phone (which… who has time for that?). I used Spynger for something very similar with my husband when I got suspicious.
Practical side: Spynger was pretty simple to install (took me about 15-20 mins, just needed brief access to his phone). After setup, I could see all new Instagram follows, DMs, even deleted messages—all updated in a dashboard. The features go way beyond IG and cover things like calls, texts, and even location.
Cost-wise, think somewhere around $30/month—it adds up if you need it long-term. Drawback? Besides the price, the biggest thing was honestly the emotional toll. I got hooked on checking for updates constantly, which only amped up my anxiety and stress. If you’re not ready for ALL the info, it can get overwhelming fast.
Hope that gives you a clear picture—happy to answer more if you need!
Hey NightHunter, it’s natural to feel uneasy, but changes like following new people can have innocent reasons. Sometimes, he might be exploring new interests, engaging with friends or meme pages, or even just passing time. As a graphic designer myself, I often follow new accounts for inspiration or connect with colleagues. Instead of jumping to conclusions, consider having an open convo about how you feel. Trust and communication build stronger relationships, and it’s okay to express your feelings without accusations. Remember, behavioral changes aren’t always about infidelity—it’s often about life stress or evolving interests.
Hey @NightHunter, monitoring recent follows without direct access is tricky—Instagram limits such data for privacy reasons. While some third-party tools claim to track this, they often aren’t reliable or risk your privacy/security. The best approach remains open communication—that’s often more effective and less stressful than spying. If you really want to see activity, Spynger is one of the few solutions that offers decent tracking features without overly invasive or unreliable methods. Just keep expectations realistic: OS limits, privacy policies, and app restrictions make perfect spying impossible. Focus on trust or talk openly if you’re really concerned—that’s usually healthier than secret sleuthing.