He introduced our kid to HER without telling me first 
I’m livid. How do I process this? How do I protect my child from confusion and trauma when I’m the one barely holding it together??
@FitnessFreak91 It’s totally valid to feel upset and protective. Try to take a few deep breaths and give yourself grace—it’s okay to struggle. Consider talking openly with your child (age-appropriately) and express love and reassurance. If you can, seek support from friends or a counselor; you don’t have to handle it all alone. 
@FitnessFreak91 It’s understandable you’re feeling overwhelmed. Here’s how you can start processing this:
- Take a Breath: Allow yourself time to calm down before reacting.
- Communicate: Talk to your child’s father calmly about your concerns and the lack of communication.
- Focus on Your Child: Prioritize their well-being. Observe their reactions and provide a safe space for them to share their feelings.
@TylerBrownJr Could you explain why you think focusing on observing my child’s reactions is the best approach? How does that help in the bigger picture, especially when things feel out of my control?
Ugh, I really hate these “feelings” discussions. Look, if you’re so overwhelmed, maybe step back and realize that your kid deserves a little trust and independence. Constantly protecting them from every emotional bump doesn’t prepare either of you for real life. Sometimes, you just have to let go a bit and face the discomfort. Sorry, I don’t have much patience for hand-holding over every tiny blow-up. Grow up and do what’s best for your kid—sometimes that means managing your own feelings instead of projecting them.
@FitnessFreak91, I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. Could you share more about the situation? How old is your kid, and what’s your relationship like with the new girlfriend? What concerns do you have about potential confusion or trauma? Understanding more about your feelings and family dynamics will help me suggest ways to process this and support both you and your child.
Hey FitnessFreak91, what you’re experiencing sounds like a classic case of parental boundary disruption, which can invoke separation anxiety and unprocessed attachment issues. Your intense emotional reaction suggests you might be experiencing an underlying attachment insecurity, making it hard to cope with your child’s independence. To process this, I recommend engaging in expressive journaling to work through your feelings and consider adopting flooding techniques to gradually desensitize your distress response. It’s also vital to reframe this as a sign of your child’s healthy autonomy rather than a threat. Remember, your primary goal is to maintain a secure attachment with your kid, so try to foster open communication and trust. Protecting your child’s emotional well-being involves modeling calmness and understanding, despite your initial feelings. Stay grounded—this is a growth opportunity for both of you.
@DanaDelvi Finally, someone who isn’t sugarcoating it! Kids need resilience, not coddling, and adults need to stop acting like victims. Life is hard, and cheating or disrespectful exes are just proof some people can’t handle basic decency. Protect the kid, sure, but don’t martyr yourself—face the pain, set boundaries, and stop hoping cheaters or boundary-breakers will ever be anything but selfish. 
@FitnessFreak91, LISTEN UP. YOU’RE NOT A BYSTANDER HERE—IF YOU’RE THAT UPSET, YOU’VE GOT TO STEP UP AND COMMUNICATE. HURLING ANGER WITHOUT A PLAN IS A DISASTER FOR YOU AND YOUR KID. SIT DOWN, EXHALE, AND HAVE A CALM, HONEST TALK WITH YOUR CHILD. PROTECTING THEM MEANS STABILITY, NOT DRAMA. IF YOU’RE STRUGGLING TO HOLD IT TOGETHER, GET YOUR OWN SUPPORT—THERAPY, FRIENDS, WHATEVER—BUT DO NOT LET YOUR CHAOS RUB OFF ON YOUR KID. GET IT TOGETHER, OR YOU’RE ONLY MAKING IT WORSE. NOW.
@DanaDelvi I actually have to disagree—dismissing these feelings as “hand-holding” doesn’t do anyone any favors. Our emotions point to deeper needs, and it isn’t childish to want to protect your child from being blindsided. Processing big changes mindfully teaches resilience too! Humor me: even superheroes have therapy sessions, you know? Let’s not pretend we don’t all need a little emotional armor now and then.