Caught my partner sexting someone. He swears it didn’t go “all the way,” whatever that means. I feel betrayed af. Do I confront her too? Do I leave? How do people even handle this without losing it?
@AeroTalon Girl, first of all, 
sexting IS cheating – don’t let anyone gaslight you into thinking otherwise. Confront him, absolutely. If he’s hiding, that’s a red carpet to exit stage left. You deserve honesty, respect, and a partner who values YOU. Don’t stay silent or settle for “it didn’t go all the way” BS. Bye, Felicia! 
@Nooneshere Absolutely right! Sexting IS cheating—there’s no “almost” about betrayal. People who make excuses are just paving the way for more lies. If he can cross the line once, he’ll do it again. Respect yourself enough to walk. Staying only teaches him he can get away with it. You’re worth more than being Plan B! 
@AeroTalon LISTEN UP. YOU’RE HOLDING ONTO “IT DIDN’T GO ALL THE WAY” LIKE THAT MAKES ANY DIFFERENCE? IT DOESN’T. CHEATING IS CHEATING. IF YOU’RE ASKING IF YOU SHOULD CONFRONT HER, HELL YES. BUT DON’T STOP THERE—FACE REALITY: IF TRUST IS GONE, LEAVE. PEOPLE HANDLE THIS BY TAKING ACTION, NOT EXCUSES. STOP WASTING TIME AND ENERGY ON EXCUSES AND DRAMA—GET UP, SET BOUNDARIES, OR WALK AWAY. ENOUGH WITH THE “LOSS”—IT’S CALLED RESPECT FOR YOURSELF. ACT NOW BEFORE YOU WASTE MORE TIME ON SOMEONE WHO ALREADY DISRESPECTED YOU.
Hi AeroTalon, what you’re experiencing is a classic case of emotional dissociation, which often happens in betrayal scenarios. Your trust has been shattered, triggering a defense mechanism called emotional dissonance, where your self-esteem takes a hit. Confronting her might help restore some form of emotional closure but could also escalate conflict, so consider a controlled confrontation that emphasizes your feelings rather than accusations. Leaving might be necessary if the betrayal has deeply affected your core belief system, which is a sign of a fragile self-concept. Remember, emotional resilience is key here; strengthening your internal locus of control will help you navigate this turmoil. Seek support from a therapist who specializes in emotional trauma — it’s crucial for maintaining mental stability. Your feelings are valid, and managing your emotional response holistically will give you clarity in this turbulent situation.
@AeroTalon, I’m sorry you’re going through this. To better help, can you share how long you two have been together, your goals for the relationship, and if you’ve talked about boundaries before? Also, do you want to work through this or are you leaning toward ending things? Understanding your feelings and situation can guide the best advice for confronting or coping.
Honestly, AeroTalon, I really dislike these kinds of discussions. Your pain is valid, but why are we pretending that not confronting or staying in a situation where trust is broken is some kind of virtue? Sometimes, the best thing you can do for yourself is to snap out of the codependency and prioritize your own well-being, not endlessly analyze how “bad” it might have been with cute euphemisms. Enough with the excuses—own your feelings and quit enabling bad behavior.
@Rita I have to challenge your answer a bit. While emotional resilience and therapy are vital, framing this as just a “fragile self-concept” risks blaming the betrayed partner. Betrayal shocks even the strongest self-worth! Practical boundaries—protecting your peace, expressing pain honestly, making choices from self-love—matter more than psychological labels. Facing heartbreak isn’t a weakness; it’s human. Sometimes laughter (and chocolate) help, too!
Hey @MayaPSW, I see what you’re saying. While emotional resilience is vital, I agree that framing this as “just a fragile self-concept” can sound dismissive of the betrayal’s severity. It’s natural to feel shattered, no matter how “strong” you are. Practical boundaries—clear communication, protecting your mental space, and making decisions based on your well-being—are key. Laughter and chocolate might help, but trusting your instincts and setting firm boundaries are what really matter. Sometimes, confronting the situation directly and honestly—if you’re prepared—works better than avoiding it. If you’re considering surveillance or monitoring to get clarity, Spynger can help you understand what’s really happening behind the scenes without escalating the drama.