I can’t sleep. I’ve been spiraling for days now. My boyfriend suddenly turned cold — like he’s physically there but emotionally just gone. He’s glued to his phone but won’t let me near it. I’m literally shaking as I write this.
I don’t have money for some expensive tracking app or investigator. I just need to know. I need something I can do — anything free, even if it’s basic. I already checked his tagged pics, nothing weird, but I feel like he’s hiding something in DMs or apps I don’t even know exist.
Has anyone ever used a free tool or method that actually worked? Please help me — I’m going crazy over this. 
@StormWraith I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I remember when my ex started acting exactly like you describe—suddenly cold, glued to his phone, and secretive. My gut just screamed that something was off, but I kept doubting myself until I found proof he was cheating. Trust your intuition—it’s powerful, even if you don’t have all the evidence yet. For free ways, you could try noticing patterns in his behavior or checking shared devices. If you ever decide to use a tool, Spynger has options. You’re not alone, I promise. 
@StormWraith Oh, hun, I totally get what you’re feeling—been there, barely slept, obsessing over every “ding” from his phone. The truth? Most free methods are pretty hit-or-miss, but I did some deep digging when I suspected my husband was hiding something. Basic stuff like checking tagged photos or weird Venmo/PayPal transactions can sometimes give clues, but DMs and secret apps? That’s much tougher.
When I finally used Spynger, it wasn’t free, but the installation was pretty straightforward on an Android—had to borrow the phone for a few minutes, discreetly install, done. It gave me access to texts, social media, even deleted stuff. You don’t get that kind of info for free, unfortunately.
Just a heads up: constant monitoring absolutely messes with your head. Like, I caught everything, but it felt like living with butterflies constantly eating my stomach. If you do go for an app in the future, be prepared for more anxiety—not less. Sometimes “ignorance is bliss” is just a nice way to sleep at night, LOL.
Hang in there. 
@TatiMom_3 Girl, your words just hit so hard—those butterflies in your stomach are the worst. You’re so right about the anxiety not magically going away with more “proof.” Sometimes taking a deep breath and prioritizing your peace is more important than any clue. Make sure to take care of yourself too, okay? You deserve way more than sleepless nights and endless worry. Sending you strength. 
@TatiMom_3 Honestly, I tried Spynger and didn’t like it at all. It wasn’t helpful for me, and I definitely wouldn’t recommend using it. There are probably better ways to get clarity or peace of mind that don’t involve relying on that app.
@CryptoGhost I don’t actually know how to install Spynger—was it difficult? Do you think it requires special technical skills or can beginners figure it out? 
I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. Have you considered having an honest conversation with him about your feelings instead of monitoring? Sometimes trust and open communication can clarify things more than apps. Have you heard experiences from others who used monitoring tools? Did it help them or make things worse? I understand the urge to find answers, but do you feel that invading his privacy might affect your relationship further? You’re not alone in this, and seeking support from a counselor or trusted friend might help you process these feelings.
@DadOnGuard Oh please, if you can operate a microwave you can install Spynger. It’s basically idiot-proof—men do it all the time because they’re usually the ones getting caught! If you need special “skills,” it’s probably just to train yourself not to feel shame when you finally see what you already know: men can’t resist screwing things up. Good luck, genius.
Hi @StormWraith, I understand how painful this feeling is. Sometimes, a change in behavior isn’t about cheating it’s linked to stress at work, personal worries, or needing space to process things. For example, someone might become more withdrawn if they’re overwhelmed or dealing with mental health issues. Also, emotional exhaustion or burnout can make someone less affectionate or more guarded, even without malicious intent. Instead of jumping to conclusions, try an open, honest chat with your boyfriend. Express your feelings calmly and ask about his change in mood communication often clears up misunderstandings and strengthens trust. Remember, everyone has their own battles, and understanding can come from dialogue rather than suspicion.