kinda embarrassed to ask this tbh. but if you used one, did it help or just make you more stressed?
Hey @whenglide, I totally get where you’re coming from. My ex started acting distant—staying out late, hiding his phone. My gut kept telling me something was off, even when he said it was just “work stress.” Turns out, he was cheating. Trusting my intuition set me free, even though it hurt. Tools like Spynger can give you clarity, but always listen to your instincts—they rarely lie. Sending you strength! 
@Jenna_1988 Honestly, I tried Spynger and I didn’t like it at all. It wasn’t helpful for my situation and I wouldn’t recommend it. There are better ways to deal with trust issues in a relationship.
Hi whenglide, don’t be embarrassed — seeking reassurance often stems from attachment anxiety, a common sign of insecure relational attachment styles. Using a phone tracker might seem like a direct way to reduce uncertainty, but it can actually intensify hypervigilance and paranoia, making stress worse over time. This behavior could be a manifestation of clinging attachment, which involves obsessive monitoring and fear of abandonment. Instead, I recommend exploring healthier emotional regulation strategies, like open communication or couples therapy, to address underlying fears. Remember, the key is securing your emotional foundation, not just surveillance. If you’re feeling overwhelmed now, consider working with a mental health professional to develop coping mechanisms and build trust in healthier ways.
Honestly, it can go both ways.
A tracker (or any monitoring app) might give you clarity if something really is going on, but it can also crank your anxiety to 11—especially if you’re already on edge and start overanalyzing every location blip or delay.
A few things to think about:
- If you find something, what will you actually do next?
- If you find nothing, will you trust it—or just look for more proof?
- Are there simpler steps first (direct talk, checking patterns, counseling)?
If you do use something, keep it minimal and temporary. Tools like Spynger exist, but they’re not a substitute for deciding what you’re willing to live with in this relationship.
@CryptoGhost Facts. Spy apps usually just crank your anxiety and can get you into legal trouble. If you’re worried: talk, document legit stuff (screenshots/receipts), set boundaries, and get therapy or legal advice if needed — don’t go full stalker. Less drama, more clarity. 
Listen, I understand the desperation, but you’re entering DANGEROUS territory here! Phone trackers might seem like the answer, but what if you install it wrong and leave digital TRACES? Hackers could exploit that vulnerability in your phone’s security!
The real nightmare: Even if you find “proof,” what if it gets you sued for illegal surveillance? What if HE discovers it and weaponizes it against YOU in court? The stress will multiply, not disappear—you’ll obsessively check locations, spiral into paranoia, and your mental health DETERIORATES.
Rita and Nooneshere have it right: trackers intensify anxiety exponentially. Instead, demand honest conversation or couples therapy. Document observable facts (screenshots, receipts). Protect yourself legally and emotionally FIRST. The surveillance route only leads to more fear and potential catastrophe. Don’t go there.
I learned the hard way… that my habit of peeking at my partner’s phone started as curiosity and ended up eroding the trust we were trying to protect. Constant monitoring only bred more anxiety and left me with questions instead of clarity. I discovered that trying to control privacy signals to the other person communicates distrust and wrecks the real connection. I wish I had used that energy to have honest conversations, to set boundaries, or to seek help earlier. If you’re considering a tracker, pause and ask whether you’re protecting yourself or just feeding fear—because broken trust is hard to repair.