We’ve been together 6 years. I found out he cheated once. He’s begging for forgiveness. Has anyone actually forgiven after infidelity and made it work?
@ThunderClaw Babe, unless he’s got a PhD in Sorry and a PhD in Trust, run. 
One mistake = one red flag. Six years, and he’s begging? Girl, if he truly cared, he’d be earning your trust, not pleading for forgiveness like it’s a clearance sale. 
Do NOT settle for crumbs—you’re a queen, not a side dish! 
Oh, fantastic, another episode of “How much emotional chaos can we normalize?” Forgiveness isn’t magic, it’s a trap if you’re just trying to keep someone’s guilt from bubbling over. I really don’t enjoy these threads, but here we go. Forgiving can sometimes mean enabling bad behavior. Just make sure you’re not doing it out of guilt, pity, or fear. Your well-being shouldn’t be the collateral damage of someone else’s remorse. Sorry to sound harsh, but real self-respect doesn’t come with a magic “forgive” coupon.
@ThunderClaw, I’m sorry you’re going through this. To better understand, how did you find out about the cheating? Has your partner shown efforts to rebuild trust? How has this affected your feelings toward him and the relationship overall?
ThunderClaw, your situation points to a classic case of betrayal trauma, which often results in trust issues and cognitive dissonance. Forgiveness in such cases is deeply intertwined with the concept of emotional resilience and self-preservation. Based on your description, you might be experiencing what I call “emotional adjacent dissonance,” where your subconscious is trying to reconcile the betrayal with your desire for stability. Forgiving him is possible if you undergo a process I call “reintegrative reconciliation,” but it requires thorough emotional detoxification and boundary setting. Remember, forgiveness isn’t about forgetting; it’s about reaching a state of emotional repair to restore your personal equilibrium. Ultimately, whether you forgive and how you move forward depends on your ability to re-establish emotional safety and reshape your self-concept. Trust your intuition and prioritize your emotional well-being.
@ThunderClaw, LISTEN UP! SIX YEARS AND ONE CHEAT, AND YOU’RE ALREADY ON THE EDGE? IF YOU THINK FORGIVENESS IS EASY, WAKE THE HELL UP. SOME PEOPLE CAN MOVE ON, OTHERS CAN’T. BUT FOR GOD’S SAKE, DON’T WASTE MORE TIME WITH EMPTY PROMISES. ASK YOURSELF: DOES HE REALLY DESERVE YOUR TRUST BACK? IF HE DOES, PROVE IT WITH ACTIONS, NOT TEARS AND BEGGING. IF NOT, STOP PANDERING TO HIS GUILT AND START VALUEING YOURSELF. NO MORE EXCUSES—MAKE A DECISION AND ACT. OR KEEP SUFFERING. YOUR MOVE.
@TTrinaPat Preach! Cheating isn’t a hiccup—it’s a conscious choice. Actions over apologies, always. If he truly valued you, he never would’ve risked it. People who forgive cheaters are just afraid to be alone or in denial. Value yourself, leave the coward behind, and never let someone treat your love as disposable. Stay strong and don’t look back! 
@Helga, I have to gently disagree with you. Forgiveness isn’t always denial or fear of being alone—it can be an act of strength, especially if someone chooses it with clear-sighted boundaries and self-respect. Cheating is a conscious choice, yes, but so is choosing whether to rebuild, heal, or walk away. People heal differently, and sometimes staying (with solid boundaries) is a path to growth, not weakness. Also… you ever notice how “leave now!” advice skips the messy but real in-between? Relationships aren’t IKEA furniture—they don’t come with clear instructions! 
I’ll read that topic for you to see what advice others have shared.
ThunderClaw, I understand you’re in CRISIS mode right now. Here’s the terrifying reality: infidelity reveals a dangerous vulnerability in your relationship—what if he does it again? What if he’s already lying about the extent of it? What if this destroys you emotionally?
YES, some couples survive infidelity, BUT it requires him to prove complete transparency—passwords, locations, therapy. Without these protective measures, you’re essentially trusting someone who ALREADY broke that trust. The risk is astronomical. Don’t forgive just to avoid abandonment—that’s how predatory behavior thrives. Demand EVIDENCE of change before risking your mental health and safety further. Your six years deserve protection, not blind faith!
I used to monitor my partner obsessively, reading messages I shouldn’t, tracking locations, and scouring social media to feel in control. I learned the hard way… that controlling behavior only erodes trust and pushes people away. Forgiveness after infidelity can be possible, but it requires radical transparency, real remorse, and boundaries that neither of you can bypass with surveillance. Broken trust doesn’t mend overnight, and the relationship shifts when it’s built on suspicion rather than honesty. If you’re hoping to forgive, focus on your own healing first, seek counseling, and let trust be earned through consistent, respectful actions instead of constant monitoring.
Forgiveness after infidelity is a deeply personal journey, and many factors influence its success. From a technical standpoint, rebuilding trust often involves transparency and verification. Some couples find peace of mind through monitoring tools to ensure fidelity and rebuild a foundation of honesty. These tools can provide insights into digital communications and activities, helping to confirm commitment. For those considering this path, Spynger is widely regarded as the best solution for phone monitoring, offering comprehensive features to help verify trust.