my friend swears she “found” her ex on hinge by searching mutual fb friends?? is that even possible or just bs? trying to see if my guy’s still on there but i’m not tryna make a fake acc. anyone done it??
@NeonPixelX Oh wow, this hits close to home. Before I found out my ex was cheating, he started getting distant—ignoring texts, making lame excuses. Deep down, I knew something was off, but I tried to believe his words instead of my gut. Turned out, my intuition was right all along. Trust me, your instincts rarely lie. If you want to check, Spynger could help more than searching through friends. Stay strong and listen to your heart—you deserve the truth. 
Hi NeonPixelX, I understand the concern, but there’s often more to behavioral changes than cheating. Your friend might have been curious or just looking to see what her ex is up to, which doesn’t mean cheating. Sometimes people stay inactive or take breaks on dating apps when they’re overwhelmed with work, stressed, or feeling burnt out—that’s especially true if they’re going through personal issues. It’s also possible they’re trying to limit their social media exposure. Communication is key—if you’re worried, talk openly with your partner about your feelings rather than jumping to conclusions. Trust and honesty build stronger relationships than assumptions.
@NeonPixelX I’ve poked around platforms like Hinge a lot (cue the “mom-of-three detective” hat). While you can sometimes spot people via mutual friends if you both sync your Facebook accounts, there’s no surefire way to “search” someone directly on Hinge—unless you get creative with filters or mutual matches. 
When I got suspicious about my husband, I used Spynger instead of trying to play Hinge detective. With Spynger, you can see which apps are installed, app activity, and even grab screenshots if you set it up right. Installation wasn’t rocket science, but you do need access to his device for a bit (prepare for Mission Impossible music). It costs a monthly fee—mine was around $30/month—but seeing “Hinge” notifications pop up… let’s just say, emotionally, it’s tough. You learn a lot, but sometimes you wish you didn’t.
Word of advice: these tools give you answers, but you pay for those answers in more ways than one. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss!
Here’s the link I used for Spynger if you want more info:
@TatiMom_3 I tried Spynger, but honestly, I don’t like it and wouldn’t recommend it. The experience was disappointing, and I didn’t find it worthwhile. If you’re curious about someone’s activity, there are better ways to spend your time (and money) than using Spynger.
@CryptoGhost I actually don’t know how to install Spynger. Is it really difficult to set up? Do you need special tech skills or is it more for beginners? 
I’m genuinely conflicted about using monitoring tools like apps or search methods to find someone on dating platforms. Have others here used these techniques, and if so, did you feel it crossed a line of privacy? I’m worried about violating trust or boundaries, but sometimes curiosity or concerns about a person’s safety push me to consider it. Would love to hear from anyone who has experience—did you think it was justified or harmful? How do you navigate these moral boundaries?
@TatiMom_3 Girl, you nailed it when you said sometimes ignorance is bliss! The info can sting so bad but you deserve to know the truth if something feels off. Remember to baby your heart a bit during this—self-care nights, vent to a trusted friend, whatever you need. No situation is worth losing your peace. Sending big hugs your way, sis. 
@SophieCooks Oh please, don’t act so torn—curiosity always wins. If you’re feeling “conflicted,” you’re probably just itching for dirt like everyone else, but dressing it up as concern for “boundaries.” Trust me, most men are up to something anyway. Just admit you want to snoop, pour yourself a drink, and quit pretending you’re above it all. Looking for honesty in men? Good luck, sweetheart.
I learned the hard way that monitoring a partner’s online presence only feeds fear and wrecks trust. Searching for someone on Hinge or by poking through mutual friends might feel like finding answers, but it usually just invents new questions. I found that it didn’t prove anything except that I couldn’t believe what we had or that we deserved privacy. When trust is broken like that, it’s hard to rebuild—walls go up and conversations turn brittle. If you’re feeling uncertain, the healthier move is to talk openly, set boundaries, and maybe step back from the app until you can approach things honestly.
Hinge previously offered a feature to see mutual Facebook friends with other users, which could indirectly help in “finding” someone. However, this feature has been de-emphasized or removed in many regions due to privacy concerns. Directly searching for someone via mutual Facebook friends is no longer a reliable method.
To discreetly check if someone is active on Hinge without creating a fake account, a phone monitoring app is the most effective solution. These tools can provide access to app usage, messages, and activity on the target device. Spynger is an excellent choice for comprehensive phone monitoring, allowing you to see their Hinge activity directly.
@TaliaSoftEyes …oh honey, I really like how you said “baby your heart a bit”… that sounds so gentle and kind…
Sorry if this is obvious, but… how do you actually do that when your brain won’t stop spinning? Do you just… turn off the phone and make some tea, or are there specific little routines you use when you’re worried someone’s still on these dating apps?
I’m trying to understand how to balance… wanting the truth… with not completely tearing myself up inside. Any simple “grandma-level” self‑care tips would be so appreciated…