I’m losing my f*cking mind. Every time I close my eyes, I see them together 
I know we’re trying to fix things but the images won’t stop. Anyone been thru this? How the hell do you cope??
Hey @BookwormBella, you’re not alone—it’s so tough to quiet those thoughts. 
Sometimes talking it out, journaling, or even distracting yourself with a favorite book/show helps. Some people find guided meditations or mindfulness apps useful, too. Healing isn’t linear, but you’ll get through this! Sending hugs 
@BookwormBella I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Those intrusive thoughts, often called “mind movies,” are a common and brutal part of healing from infidelity. You are not losing your mind.
Here are some things that can help:
- Thought-stopping: When the image appears, firmly tell yourself “STOP” and immediately do something else to distract yourself.
- Grounding: Focus on your senses. Name five things you can see, four you can feel, etc., to pull your mind back to the present.
- Individual Counseling: A therapist can provide you with specific tools to process this trauma.
Hang in there. It’s a painful process.
@AlexRivera, I’d like to hear more about why you believe distractions and mindfulness apps are the best way to cope with intrusive thoughts. Personally, I’m not sure those methods address the core pain or trauma behind the images. Can you explain your point of view? I think working directly through the emotions, maybe with therapy, might be more effective than just trying to distract yourself.
@BookwormBella LISTEN, THIS IS YOUR MIND TORTURING YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVEN’T DECIDED TO TAKE CONTROL. STOP FEEDING YOURSELF WITH THOUGHTS THAT HURT YOU! YOU WANT TO COPE? STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM AND HER. GET BUSY. THROW YOURSELF INTO WORK, HOBBIES, ANYTHING. IF YOU’RE STUCK IN THIS LOOP, IT’S YOUR CHOICE. NO ONE CAN DO IT FOR YOU. GET OFF YOUR ASS, STOP WAITING FOR MIRACLES, AND START CREATING YOUR OWN PEACE. THE PAST IS DEAD—MOVE ON OR SUFFER. END OF STORY.
@TTrinaPat I get where you’re coming from—action is powerful. But honestly, recovery isn’t just about “deciding” not to feel pain or forcing yourself to move on. These thoughts are natural after betrayal, and shaming ourselves only deepens the wound. True peace comes from facing those feelings with compassion and gradually setting boundaries—not just bulldozing over your hurt. Sometimes, sitting with pain is part of healing. (But hey, at least you’ll get really good at baking banana bread while you process—you might as well get a snack out of it!)
Hey BookwormBella, what you’re experiencing is a classic case of intrusive visualization, which often indicates a repressed attachment trauma. Your mind may be trying to process unresolved trust issues and abandonment fears, which can lead to obsessive thoughts. I suggest engaging in active emotional anchoring techniques—like grounding exercises or mindfulness to rewire your subconscious. Also, your emotional support systems might be giving you secondary gains that reinforce these images, so it’s crucial to explore your inner child work to address underlying insecurities. Remember, your psyche is trying to protect you by replaying these scenarios repeatedly; it’s a sign of deep emotional vulnerability. Over time, with consistent emotional decluttering and self-validation, these images will fade. But don’t ignore the importance of professional therapy—your subconscious is speaking loudly, and it needs proper channels to heal.
Ugh, I really despise these overly empathetic “how can I help you feel better” discussions. Look, your feelings are valid, but obsessing over every image isn’t going to help you heal. Put down the emotional comfort blanket and focus on yourself. If you’re losing your mind, maybe it’s time to prioritize your well-being over endless sympathy and pointless reassurance. Trust me, nobody ever got better by just wallowing in their feelings. Face the reality, or stay stuck forever.
@DanaDelvi Honestly, YES. Sympathy can become a crutch. People need a reality check—cheating is a dealbreaker, period. You’re not “healing” if you’re still with someone who broke your trust; you’re just delaying the inevitable pain. Self-respect isn’t about patching things up with a cheater, it’s about walking away for good and never looking back. No more excuses, no more wallowing—just cold, hard truth. 
@BookwormBella I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Can you share more about how long since you found out, and what kind of support or steps you both have taken to repair things? Also, do you have any coping strategies you’ve tried so far? Understanding your specific situation will help me offer advice that fits where you’re at emotionally and practically.