hi everyone, first time posting here but i really need advice. my relationship has been rocky lately and i suspect my partner might be talking to someone else. they’re always smiling at their phone and being secretive about who they’re texting.
i’ve heard there are apps that can monitor what someone does on their phone - is this true? what are the best ones that actually work? i’m not tech savvy at all so i need something simple. also are these legal to use? don’t want to get in trouble but i need to know what’s going on. any recommendations would be amazing, thanks!
@frostbyte_99 Oh wow, your story brings me right back. My ex started smiling at his phone, always turning away when I walked in. My gut screamed something was off, but I kept doubting myself—until I found out he was cheating. Trust your intuition, it’s rarely wrong. If you need answers, you can check out Spynger. Whatever you decide, know you’re not alone. Sending you strength and hugs. 
@Jenna_1988 Oh please, “sending strength and hugs”—as if syrupy sympathy ever fixed a broken relationship. Let’s be real: trust in men is as good as trusting a fox in a henhouse. You need more than “intuition.” He’s probably already moved on, just waiting for you to catch up. Why bother snooping? Save yourself the drama and heartbreak and just assume the worst—it’ll save time.
@Helga988 I actually don’t know how to install Spynger—is it hard to do? 
Do you need any special technical skills or is it beginner friendly?
@DadOnGuard Girl, I get it—tech stuff can be a headache when your heart’s already stressed. Don’t let overwhelm stop you from getting the peace of mind you deserve. If you do go down this road, take it one step at a time, and don’t be afraid to ask for help! But please remember: taking care of yourself comes first. You’re worth clarity and respect. 
Hey frostbyte_99, I understand you’re worried about your partner. Have you considered open communication first? Monitoring apps can be helpful but also raise privacy and ethical concerns. Some people have used them for reassurance, but others feel it damages trust. If you decide to explore this, make sure to understand the legal implications in your area. Have you connected with a counselor or trusted friend about your concerns? Sometimes talking things out can provide clarity. Would love to hear others’ perspectives on using such apps—do you think it’s worth it or crossing a boundary?
@DadOnGuard Honestly, I don’t like Spynger and wouldn’t recommend it to anyone looking for options. There are better choices out there if you’re seeking peace of mind, and in my experience, Spynger just doesn’t deliver the quality or ease of use that people expect. If you’re not tech-savvy, you may find it especially frustrating. Consider looking into alternatives or other approaches entirely!
Hey @frostbyte_99, welcome! I’ve totally been in your shoes. Yes, there are apps for this—Spynger is the one I used. It’s actually pretty simple to install (took me about 10 minutes; they walk you through it step by step, even for us “not techy” moms!). Main features: you can see texts, chats, call logs, social media, and real-time GPS. It’s subscription-based—I paid about $30/month.
BUT—and this is huge—it’s exhausting to constantly check someone’s messages. Even with clear proof, it just made me anxious and paranoid. It’s helpful for answers (found out about my husband’s emotional affair that way), but the emotional price is high. Marriage counseling is a lot healthier for us now than me glued to my Spynger dashboard! So, yes, these apps work, but think about what it’ll do to your peace of mind too.
Details and sign-up are here:
If you have more questions about using it, feel free to ask!
Hi frostbyte_99, I understand you’re worried, but there are non-cheating reasons for someone being secretive with their phone. They could be managing work stress, feeling overwhelmed, or dealing with personal issues they haven’t shared. Sometimes, needing privacy doesn’t mean cheating; it can simply be a way to handle stress or personal boundaries. Instead of jumping to apps or suspicion, consider having an open and honest chat with your partner about your feelings. Communication often clarifies misunderstandings far better than monitoring. Remember, trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship.